Stock Footage

Things I won't be doing this Christmas:

Getting patted-up before going through airport security.

Getting stuck in O'Hare or Denver.

Listening to uncle Saul clear his throat.

Smelling the dank and foul odor of my in-laws' cats and cat litter.

Playing winter games in the snow.

That's why I have to borrow the happy-joy and merriment of a stock photo.

Maybe I'll have some warm soup. There'll probably be time for that.

Man, I wish that cat was dead.

I don't like cats. At all. I really don't like the cat that walks all over my car with muddy paws. This asshole does the Riverdance all over the hood of my car at least once a week. Oh -looks like he broke it down solo style on my sunroof. Awes.

Jami

Bad Cake

Hello everyone!

Well, as many of you know, I'll be celebrating a birthday in the next few weeks. It's the day I like to celebrate when I was pushed into this never-ending trial of a tribulation. This year, I'll be celebrating my . . . well, let's just say, it's not my 30th birthday.

Let's put it this way: it's not my 30th nor is it my 31st birthday, but it's my . . . that's right. I think you get it.

So, anyway, back to my trials. This particular organization I work for (let's call them "The Organization") decided to have cake to honor me and my day of birth. I won't be here for my birthday, so they did it a little early. What they also did, was set out a bunch of slices of cake for me and fellow employees of "The Organization." And the slices of cake had a foul ingredient. They had hazelnuts. I'm allergic to nuts, and since the word hazelnuts has the word nuts in it, you'd have to assume it's not something I would eat. Not even.

So, I'm all like, "oh great!" (but sarcastically) when I saw the cakes sitting in the kitchen area.

Typical. I watched the rest of the jerks eat my birthday cake, and hated them for it. Why should I expect anything different. Poison birthday cake.

Stupid.